this cow is prettier than me
Dude someone once told me I look like a cow and I was like “omg really? Have you seen cows? Because I have and they’re fucking gorgeous and adorable, so thanks”
Fun fact: “cow-eyed” was often used to describe Hera’s beauty since the Athenians considered cows faces so beautiful.
Tell me this shit ain’t clean as fuck g
Never in the history of high top fades have I EVER seen one this fucking clean
I’m still not over how clean this is
dude look like a brand new pencil eraser
"Like a brand new pencil eraser" lmfaoooo
"When I was pregnant with you, this old, homeless, dirty gipsy woman on the lower east side of Manhattan stopped me in the street to tell me that I was having a boy because of how low my stomach was hanging. When I gave birth to a girl, I tried to find the old beggar to tell her that she was wrong & I gave birth to a beautiful girl. 21 years later, I need to go back, find that smelly snaggle toothed troll & tell her she was right all along" - My mother’s words on me being transgender.
my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia